Naomi Osaka and the French Open - - I am torn. I am probably jealous of her courage. Maybe I am just scrambling to define Mental Health in a time when I feel like I might be at a fork in my own road. Maybe my generation doesn’t talk about Mental Health till you require serious medical help just to stay alive. I just have so many questions. Some of the questions are, of course, left for my own soul searching, but many of them are about where do we go from here.
I am curious what her support group looks like. Who is on HER Board of Directors? What did her tennis training look like at 7, 10, 13, today etc? If her second serve was preventing her from maximizing her talent, I can picture a team of coaches designing exercises, studying film and technique and offering round the clock guidance. So was mental, social and mindset health not in the scope of training in preparation for the “next the level”? This high profile proclamation brings awareness, but we can not lean on Naomi to offer any of us solutions. She shone her flashlight into a dark room and exposed something that, if you are anything like me, scares the coach, parent, sibling, friend, professional and person inside of you to the core.
Imagine yourself a volunteer recreational sports coach, an underpaid HS coach, or win at all costs, full time Elite youth coach - how does this change your job? How does this impact your role with the players who are entrusted to you? Is this a one-off, extreme case or is this something that is more prevalent? Is it a new problem brought on by social media and the new definition of sports hero? Has it always been lurking right among us, undefined, undetected? Many people wondered about 12 months ago what quarantine, home school, sports cancellations and all the struggles of pandemic life would do to kids. As we ease out back into “reality” people describe this generation as resilient, strong, and tough. I saw this quote the other day - “Sometimes its easier to pretend you’re okay than to explain why you aren’t”. How many of us, our players, our kids are pretending?
How are we supposed to help when it seems that people are rewarded for acting or pretending everything is great? A great starting point is Curiosity. Author Michael Bungay Stanier joined Brene Brown on the the Dare to Lead podcast to discuss his new book - The Advice Trap. The big lesson that can apply to how leaders, coaches and parents can help is to LISTEN. Ask questions and listen. Practice this. Don’t dive in to offer the advice immediately. Don’t offer answers. Instead, ask more questions. Be empathetic. And be GENUINELY CURIOUS.
And for a little more inspiration on how you can support players, students, or any kids who may be suffering, think WWTD - What Would Ted Do. Ted Lasso. I don’t think I have to remind you - Season 2 - July 23. Enjoy.
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