Leadership starts with you. Before you can lead others, you must first lead yourself. Leading yourself starts with MINDSET. You need to practice a bit of MIND CONTROL.
Don’t go through it - GROW THROUGH IT reads the sign on the locker room wall. It is also plastered in the weight room. There is a simplicity to this message, but this is not simple for us put into action. Our brains are Velcro for the negative. Something goes wrong and we obsess over it. We take ourselves into CAN’T LAND. "I can't" becomes our default. We are down in the dumps and we spiral to the depths of despair.
Four things that we most commonly do as we beat ourselves up are:
Personalize - We blame ourselves.
Polarize - We see things as only good or bad.
Magnify - We zoom in on the negative and dismiss the positive.
Catastrophize - We expect the worst.
Once we identify these behaviors, we can start to deal with them and embrace them.
If you begin to Personalize, you should quickly assess what parts of the outcome were within your control. You might soon realize that many things are not within your scope of control. This will help you begin to focus on what you can learn and areas you can focus on to improve. Control what you can control.
If you are Polarizing, you need to remember that rarely are things all bad. Often something negative can be quickly reframed to an opportunity. After an honest assessment, you will realize that things are not all bad. Focus on what elements of your situation are good - - if you look close, there are definitely positives to take away and opportunities for you to learn, grow and improve.
If you are Magnifying, you are looking at your world through your darkest glasses. One crashing wave of negative thoughts, followed by another and another is making it hard to pick your head up and see anything other than the worst. Don’t dismiss that there is positive energy out there. The moment might be dark, but there is light - you just need to be open to seeing it. Step back. Reframe. Talk. In time you will find there is more than just negative out there - don't miss it simply because you weren't open to seeing it.
If you are Catastrophizing, you are in the mindset that only the worst outcome is possible. You are envisioning a life of quicksand. No matter what you do you are enveloped by negative. The trick is remembering Henry Ford’s line - “Whether you thank you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” You need to embrace the power of positive energy. Negative people see only problems. What you want to see are solutions, possibilities, and the amazing future coming your way.
This takes effort. This takes time. It’s not a switch we can flip, but it is something we can practice and strengthen. Take a breath. Why not you? Anything is possible - BELIEVE.
Stay positive.
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